Cooking with Karen...

I love cooking shows and have always wanted to have my own.  With my Mac and iMovie now I can!!!  I have decided to start my own show in my own kitchen.  The name of the show will be Cooking With Karen.  The reason I am calling it that is because my friends call me Karen.  As in Karen Carpenter since I am so skinny.  They tell me to eat a sandwich.  Anyway, I thought that would be the perfect name.  So I will soon be posting a video blog once I learn how to edit on iMovie.  Basically I will be using the camera on my Mac to record the cooking and I can use iMovie to edit for time and content and also add music and credits!!  I hope to have something posted by the end of next week.  

Forkboy...

While I was in college and living on campus I ate most of my meals in the crapateria.  During my stint there management erected a cork board and solicited for comments.  From this Forkboy was born.  I became the Midwestern State food critic.  Oh how I wish I had saved my commentary--journalism gold I tell you!!  GOLD!  

Anyway, I love to eat out and try new restaurants.  I have been somewhat bad about trying new places lately but hope to try something new every week.  For now I will comment on places that I have already tried.  So I am, henceforth, bringing Forkboy back from the dead.  The posting will be Urban Cafe so look for this in a day or so.

Check this site out...

You know everyone loves a good story about some of the idiots and issues here in our great State of Texas. You should head over to my friend Kevan’s blog and read all about it.

http://www.funnytexans.com/

Sopapeople...

On Wednesday nights we go to El Fenix for the Wednesday special. $4.99 for 2 enchiladas, rice, and beans. A few margaritas and good company. El Fenix is, I believe, the oldest Mexican food restaurant in Dallas. It opened in 1906 and I think the same people are still working there. Anyway, on the menu are Sopapeople (think Sopapillas). The menu describes them as “shaped like kids (with honey)” and for $4.75 you get an order of 5 kids or a single kid for $1.75.

Pervs.

Thursday...

Thursday’s suck. I say this because it is true. They just blow! It is very difficult for me to get up. All I want to do is stay in bed on Thursday mornings and sleep. And I am in an instant bad mood because I have to get up.

White Trash at it again...

OMG! Have you seen this? Southwest was apparently rude to these girls. It seems that they were causing a ruckus on board-talking loud, swearing, annoying the people around them. So much so that they were escorted off the plane after it landed by 4 police officers.

The girls claim that they were being discriminated against because they were too pretty. WTF?? These white trash whores think they are pretty? They are just way to full of themselves.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/02/25/porter.too.pretty.to.fly.wtsp

Ordering Checks...

The only thing I use checks for are the following: rent and utilities, parking, and the occasional magazine subscription. I am running low on checks currently. So I call Chase to order checks and was told that because I just changed my address that I had to go in person to a branch and order them. Are you fucking kidding me!? I about ate the guys face through the phone when he told me “those are the rules.” He said that it is fraud prevention. I informed him that it was convenience prevention. I even played the employee card and he said no. Useless sons-of-bitches!!!! So now I have to go to a branch which all close before I get home. Guess I will have to wait until Saturday. I am just pissed.

The Cool ATM...

Disclaimer: I am not promoting J.P. Morgan Chase Bank…I might be an employee and a customer but I am just saying I found a cool Chase ATM

I needed to make a deposit and did not want to wait until Monday. The bank was already closed so I decided to make the deposit through the ATM. You hear these horror stories where people make a deposit using an ATM and their funds are not available for like 10 days. Luckily Chase works a little different. Once you make a deposit then there is an amount available immediately then it takes 1-2 business days for the rest to clear. About the same amount of time as using a teller. I went to the Chase branch downtown located at Pacific and Ervay. I walked up to the machine and was looking for the envelopes. There were none to be found. The machine said I could make a deposit so I continued to follow the instructions on the screen. It told me to just stick the check into the slot. OMG! You did not have to use an envelope. I didn’t even need to key in the amount that I was depositing. So I place the check into the machine. It scanned the check and brought up a perfect picture of the check and asked if the amount XXX.XX was ok. I was giddy. I pushed yes and the check was deposited with part of it immediately available for withdrawal. How cool is this!!!!???? No envelopes! Not to mention that I have my ATM preferences set. So when I go to any Chase ATM in the world the preferences that I setup will automatically pop up on the screen. I have another deposit I need to make this evening and can’t wait to use that ATM!!!

I know this is all just trivial but I just thought it was all just too cool.

Death Threat Elmo...

I SO want this doll!!!!!

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/02/22/delaney.death.threat.elmo.cnn

The Bath...

Last night was cold and wet. I thought that I would just chill and I did. I decided that a nice hot bath would be excellent. So I turned on the water and added some bubbles. I went into the kitchen briefly. A few moments later I noticed that there was water on the floor in the living room and kitchen. It could not have been the tub as the water was concentrated in tiny puddles on the floor. I thought that I probably had tracked the water in since I had just taken Moses out. So I undress and walked into the bathroom. I noticed water on the floor in the bathroom and bedroom. Curious I called for Moses. He came and looked at me then ran. I finally caught him and he was soaked. Apparently he had decided to take a swim in the tub as it was filling. I toweled him dry and proceeded with my bath. Moses stood right there and watched me. He was acting like he was going to jump in. Then I did it. I put him in the bath with me. Oh he loved it! He just sat there while I chilled. Afterwards I took a quick shower to rinse off (you should always shower after a bath since you are just marinating in your own dirt and oils!) and gave Moses a full wash and fluff. I still can’t believe that I did that. But I used to have a cat that would like to shower with me in college. I have odd animals. What can I say?

Amy Winehouse...

I have been listening to Back In Black by Amy Winehouse. I know that she has been all over the news with winning grammys and her major drug problem but her music and her voice are amazing. I was reading Perezhilton.com and there was a YouTube posting of a live performance of Love is a Loosing Game (fabulous song!). Although the performance was a little off and she was a bit difficult to watch I was intrigued. I found the actual music video and was really just blown away. So I highly recommend listening to her stuff. The only song of hers I had heard before was Rehab. Wasn’t a fan. But after listening to the rest….it is really cool and different.

Bob Sagat is my new hero...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6Lt2jlEyOo

New Pics After the Move...

Not sure why the preview is STILL not appearing but just click the box and it will work.

The Move is Done…

Well, we finished moving finally. The entire process went much quicker that I had thought. Most of everything was moved on Friday and I finished up on Sunday. Mainly organizing and taking stuff down to storage. The apartment looks great! I will get pictures posted soon. Now, we are in the process of getting Ron’s things into the place. He doesn’t really have all that much. He is selling his sofa and TV stand (I think) and his bed is going into storage. He is bringing things over everyday so hopefully this will all be done very soon.

I have been franticly organizing things. I cannot sleep until things are done. I lay awake at night organizing things in my head. Ron sat me down in a futile attempt to calm/slow me down but all I could look at was the kitchen in shambles. I was up until midnight last night finishing the bathroom, closet, and bookcases. The task has been completed. It actually looks like I have lived there a while. It has come to my attention that I have to many clothes. When I had my nice big walk-in closet it certainly did not seem like much. But as I was organizing the new closet I quickly came to realize that I should put some stuff away. I have almost 20 pairs of shoes; each in their own plastic containers that did not fit well in the closet with my clothes. So, I took a bunch of summer clothes and folded them which helped tremendously. So now all the pants are hanging on the bottom level with the shoes stacked neatly. We will have to add another drawer. I fold my t-shirts in a very odd way that saves a ton of space. I have started folding Ron’s t-shirts the same way. Here is the problem-Ron wears a large-XL shirt. When I fold his shirts the same way it is still very big so I folded the shirts in half again and bingo! Plenty of room. But I know there is more to come as he has not moved the majority of his clothes yet.

So far so good and more to come…

Perhaps it is Time to Leave JPMorgan Chase & Co…

I have the most boring job ever! All I do is surf the internet and write blogs at work. I need to seriously get out of here and start on something else. Yes, I can wear whatever I want. Yes, I get fed everyday. But I would rather dress up and pay for my own lunches and work than sit on my ass all day. I started at FCS in July and told myself that I would commit to 1 year of service. Well I have about 5 months to go. I will, however start looking and if something great comes my way then who am I to turn it down!

Republican...

I am not an out spoken political person at all. I keep my political views to myself. It is a private matter for me. For some reason I ended up a registered Republican. I have no clue as to how this may have occurred. Every so often I will get an 8x10 glossy of President Bush and his lovely wife Laura. This disturbs me greatly. I would rather just have a picture of Laura but no, darned ol’ Bushy has to jump into the picture. I wish I knew how I ended up a registered Republican, I really do. How do I go about changing this? I feel unclean. I feel the need to bathe in holy water but am afraid I my skin might fall off do to my sinful ways. Ugh.

Anyway, I thought it funny that “informed voters” were headed to the polls during Super Tuesday two weeks ago. The Texas primary is not until March 4th. People were complaining that there were no candidates on the ballots. Well of course not you yahoos. If you had been informed as much as you say you were then you would have known. There was an election on that day but it was for state and city-wide issues.

Pics of a Work in Progress...

Just click on the blue question mark and it will take you to some pictures. I need to figure out how to load a preview. BUT, the link works-promise!!

Seamless Moving...

Today is Monday and I am just now starting to pack some things up for my move on Friday.  I am only going up two floors in the same building so I am not going to beat myself up packing everything.  All I need is some totes and a few boxes and I will be good to go.  The kitchen will go first.  I will get it in there and all put away then the bathroom will be next.  Then the closet.  Then the big pieces of furniture.  By the time we are finished the new place will look as if I have lived there for a while.  It is what I like to call seamless moving.  I will probably start moving things Thursday evening.  We finished painting and assembling the closet over this past weekend.  Ron had the easy part with rolling the paint on the walls.  I did all the taping and edging.  I am so sore I can hardly move.  The colors are as follows:  the living room is "Oak Cask" or as Bill said-manilla envelope, the kitchen is "Chasing Chocolate," the bathroom is "Subtle Blue," and the bedroom is "Smoky Blue (think slate blue)."  Ugh, the gays and their colors schemes!  Well, it all looks great and I will get some pics posted soon.  

Valentine's Day...

Every year on February 14th people, men mostly, are reminded that they must acknowledge their love for their loved one by spending cash. Buying candy and flowers, diamonds, etc. Wouldn’t an “I Love You” suffice? Ron and I discussed VD and thank goodness we both hate it. There is no reason why we need to prove our love for each other in that way. Especially so soon after Christmas and before our anniversary (March 18th). Honestly I would rather have a Nintendo Wii or shiny Ninja sword than something mushy. So we are opting out of celebrating VD next Thursday.

You know, VD also contributes greatly to obesity. The stores are stocking their shelves with mounds of chocolates and tons of candy. So a day of love really means a day of overeating. “I love you so much I bought you all of this candy, please eat and gain 90lbs.” Then she gains 90 lbs and he runs out and bangs a flight attendant on his way to a conference in Boise. Marriage ruined and it is both of their faults. You never see or hear about a loved one giving their honey a box of granola bars! And why in the hell do people get married on the busiest marriage day of the year? What a cliché! It is all about the romance I guess.

Polishing a Turd...

There was an article this morning in The Times about businesses in New York City accepting Euros instead of U.S. Dollars. Due to the increasingly weak dollar (which is practically worthless) businesses are struggling. There are businesses here in Texas, some even here in Dallas, that accept Mexican Pesos as well as places along the U.S./Canadian border that accept Canadian Dollars. You know, I am all for this!! I have always believed that a universal monetary system would be much better than the one we have now. Of course, there are people who believe that I am crazy but so be it. I have about £60 and about €25 ($117.00 and $36 respectively) tucked away. There is no point in exchanging them since they have lost more value now from when I bought them.

Of course the U.S. is headed into a recession. Our “Brilliant” President has decided to give Americans more money in early summer. They are trying to prevent a recession. More money given out, the FED keeps lowering the prime interest rates, etc. This is ok to a certain point. I believe some of this is going to far. Recessions are historically cyclical. A recession will happen regardless of the things done to prevent it. They keep skirting the issue here. They are calling this period of time “a slow down in our economy.” Um, right…this is called a recession. It is like polishing a turd. No matter how much you polish the turd, it is still a stinky piece of poo. No matter how much you cover up a recession…it is still a recession. If you look back through history you will find that the economy will enter a mild recession during a presidential election and other times of uncertainty. But I think that this is going to be bigger and last longer than usual. God forbid…don’t use the “R” word.

Ninja Puppy and Kitty Takanawa...

Ok, I have the story going through my head. Moses, my Yorkshire Terrorist, and Ms. Kitty, my elder Tonkanese cat are the main characters. Moses is, of course, Ninja Puppy. Ms. Kitty is the Ninja Master Kitty Takanawa. We will begin with how Ninja Puppy came to be recruited by Kitty Takanawa. This will be the first chapter and I will post it very soon so keep an eye out!

Winehazard...

If you like wine then you will love my friend and fellow BP's website: http://www.winehazard.com/
Eric's site is informative, stylish, fun, and fabulous. His blog is not one of those haughty critiques of over-priced wine. The wines are inexpensive and easily attainable from any wine store, online, and your local supermarket. He provides in-depth and honest reviews of wine. He is not a professional Sommelier or wine expert. He is simply providing his opinion. It just so happens that he has a good palate and great taste so I faithfully endorse winehazard as a go to to learn, experiment, and enjoy tasteful commentary and great wines. So go and visit winehazard and enjoy!!!!

Bad Wine...

Last night I forgot I had been given a bottle of wine a few weeks ago. I opened it and allowed to breathe a little. I poured a glass. It was a 2007 Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Nouveau. The color was light, it swirled ok. Then I smelled it. It smelled acidic, almost like athlete’s foot. I was like, YIPES!! I put the glass down and picked up the bottle. I looked at the cork and it was fine. I did notice that the bottle itself seems light and almost felt like plastic. I had to tap on it just to confirm. The glass itself seemed very thin. So, after about 15 minutes I picked up the glass again. Same smell. So I take a sip and I thought my face was going to collapse into itself (think bitter beer face). Now, I love wine and I have a decent palate I think but what the hell?? I was against throwing it out-no need to waste alcohol. I placed an ice cube in the glass and waited a sec. I had a piece of cheese and a cracker. My attempt to make this palpable was futile. I was able to finish the glass thinking that I would find a redeeming quality but no. I dumped the wine down the sink which was a first for me. It took me back to my college days drinking boxed wine. Well, let me tell you that any variety of Franzia is far better that what I attempted to consume last night. Maybe it was just me? Perhaps someone out there will love it? Maybe it needed to sit on the shelf for a few years? Well, for what it was worth it went down the sink better than it did my throat.

Another Crappy Rant...

This morning, like all mornings, I rise to a new day. New experiences to have, new people to meet. But the first thing I do is take Moses out. He was still asleep when I got up so I dressed and got ready for work. Then I took him outside so that he may do his business. He did and we came back inside and I left for the office. Half way to the office I noticed something on my pants. It was poop. I looked at my shoe and there, suck to the bottom and side of my shoe, was dog crap. When I got to the office I washed my shoe in the sink and tried to wash out the crap on my pants. All that did was make for wet and poopy pants. Did I mention it stunk to high heaven? It did. So I waited until the mall opened and purchased a pair of jeans and new shoes. Now damnit! Why in the hell can’t people pick up after their dogs? The City of Dallas has made it a law that you must pick up the poo! Unfortunately there is no one around to enforce the law. There are even poo bags at the poopoo palace where I take Moses. Some will argue that I should watch where I step and I usually do but come on! If you can’t pick up after your dog then you should not have one! There should be camera's on the poopoo palace and thank goodness I work above the Galleria!

A Rant...

I was walking Moses last night before heading to bed when a homeless man approached me and asked for change. I told him no and that I did not have any spare change-which was the truth. He asked again and I gave him a firm NO. Then he said that I took better care of my dog than I do of human beings. I responded that he was not my responsibility and walked away. In a way he is right. We do take better care of our animals than we do of humanity. But his homelessness is not my problem. It is not my fault that he is on the streets. I have no idea how this man got to where he is now and in a way I don’t care. He makes this my problem when he asks for money. I have lived downtown for a long time and have gotten pretty good at determining the true homeless/sick. He may have looked the part but he certainly had not missed a meal. This man is living on the streets and has the audacity to judge me? I don’t think so. He even said that God would judge me in the end. I am not really worried about my judgment day. I never feel bad when I refuse to shell out; that is what my tax dollars are for. I would rather buy the guy a hamburger than give out cash. But they never want food just money. He just pissed me off and the fact that it did piss me off just pissed me off even more.

Motel Hell and a Great Steak...

This past Thursday I traveled to Wichita Falls, Tx for yet another funeral. All the reputable hotels in WF were booked. So finally we found the Econo Lodge. The Econo Lodge makes the Motel 6 look like the Ritz Carlton. We were tired and just decided to settle. After all it was just one night. We had a box of wine (I know that is soooo wrong but I din’t bring it and it travels easy) so we didn’t care at this point. I knew this was going to be bad when the key cards they gave us were actually coupons for Pizza Hut. We drove over to the room to find it was on a corner-that is always a plus. We use our Pizza Hut keys and walked in. The room was about the same temperature inside as it was outside-34 degrees with a wind chill of 14. I immediately turn on the heater. The room itself was like any standard hotel room. Table and two chairs, two full sized beds, a dresser, TV, small fridge, and bathroom. The color scheme was blue and burgundy. The patterned wallpaper resembled that of an old western whore house. The bed pillows were as flat as a pancake. I knew I would not be sleeping on 350 count Egyptian Cotton sheets so I sucked it up. The bed spread was also a blue and burgundy with a paisley swirl. I was secretly hoping that the bed would vibrate but no suck luck. So we settled in and decided to head out for dinner at McBride’s Land and Cattle-an institution of Wichita Falls. The restaurant was so warm, fireplace roaring. We were seated by a lovely buxom youngin hostess. We both ordered the petite sirloin medium rare. I had a Caesar. OMG is was the best Caesar ever. Then the steak came. Perfect choice of meat wrapped in bacon, a baked potato cooked to perfection. After asking for extra butter for my potato I loaded it full of cheese, bacon bits, and chives. I also ordered the house red which was sooo good and smooth and served at the correct temperature. The steak was so tender. I ate every bite and cleaned my plate. The bill was a pleasant surprise. A meal like this in Dallas would have been at least $50-75. Not in Wichita Falls. The meal was $14 each. The wine was 3.95 and we had 3 glasses between us. Total bill: $40. Can’t beat that! Then we braved the cold and went back to that motel. We had more wine and chatted. I was surprised to find that there was free wi-fi. Then off to bed. Around 3:30am we woke up to the yelling of a woman next door. She was saying “I am NOT YOU FUCKING WHORE.” She repeated this several times and then continued to laugh until about 4:15am. It didn’t matter. I did not get any sleep anyway with the thought of bed bugs and the lack of neck support due to a flat pillow. That morning we decided to head over and partake in the free breakfast. We dressed for a funeral mind you. We walk in and everyone turns around. We grab a donut and a diet coke, turned in our Pizza Hut keys and left immediately. For 45 dollars, the Econo Lodge is exactly what you would expect for that price. I am just glad to be back in my own bed.

Web Site...

I have changed the web address of this blog to: www.IBelieveInNinjas.com.

You can still access this by the original address but please bookmark the new address for your records.

Pickles...

WTF? Ugh!!! Subway was catered in for our lunch today and everything was smothered in pickles. I HATE pickles with a passion. So I went to Subway and got a pickleless sandwich. The admin saw me with my Subway bag and asked why I went to Subway after she had already ordered it. I firmly informed her that there were pickles all over everything and that the sandwiches, in my opinion, were officially tainted and walked away.

Geography…

When I first started this Ninja blogger I did so to entertain myself and my friends. Well, I decided to keep track of the hits I have been getting. I am not tracking people just how many hits per day and from where. I have readers in Alaska, Indonesia, Australia, the UK, France, Brazil, and other places that really surprised me. I have also gotten a few emails about how much these strangers enjoy my blogs. It is kinda cool that my random musings are being read globally. Spread the word that Ninjas rule!! I need to add a few pictures and such. If there is anything else ya’ll would like to see then please let me know and I will see what I can do to increase your Ninja experience.

Serenity…

A few months ago I came across this website called www.iSerenity.com. It is has sounds of ambient noise to sooth and relax. You can select airplane, summer evening, city sounds, fan, thunderstorm, ect. It is very nice tool to relax and/or tune out your coworkers and office noise. I love this site and highly recommend it.

Library Thrills...

The internet is relatively inexpensive. Computers are also relatively inexpensive. I completely understand if you simply cannot afford either. You can go to an internet café or even Kinkos to use the internet. The public library is also a nice place to go and it is completely free. Completely free to visit websites that feature porn. While little Johnny is typing up his research paper you can sitdown next to him and surf bigtitties.com. Just because the access is free does not make it right to access pornographic material in a public library. This is the problem that the J. Erik Jonnson Public Library in downtown Dallas is currently having. While little Sally is researching her science project you can sit next to her and watch videos of amateur glory holes on XTube.com or even search for a date on Classylady.com (where you can find my old neighbor Robynn available for a nominal fee). The City of Dallas and its public library system are trying to figure out a solution to this issue. If the library pulls internet access then the State of Texas will pull its funding. If the library installs filters on the machines then the ACLU steps in to say that access to other vital information such as breast cancer, etc might be blocked because of verbiage or whatever. So how does the library police people beating off under the table to peeonme.com? The librarians are a good start. I am sure it is not easy to approach an individual watching porn and ask them to please not do that. This is a free service that my tax dollars are paying for. I am paying for that creepy old man watching One Night in Paris and that really grosses me out. The library might as well stack Hustler in the magazine rack. I realize that most pornography is not illegal. However, I do strongly believe that it has no place in a public library. Then I think to myself that the library is the last place for censorship. We might as well change the name to the J. Erik Jonnson Bath House and Homeless Shelter. Perhaps they should create a separate room, much like the ‘back room’ of the video store, where one can sit and enjoy their favorite porn sites. I think that is a decent compromise. Either way it seems damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

A Valid ID...

Wednesday morning I woke up with a pounding headache and a sprained foot. I have no clue as to why either occurred but it was what it was. Anyway, I decided to call in to the office and have a mental health day. Well, not 30 minutes after I called in I checked my messages. I had missed a phone call earlier. It was Pam, her father had passed away. I was surprised but not shocked as health issues continued to mount on him. I have known him since I was a baby so I had to go to the funeral. So I called the office back and informed them of the situation. I hung up the phone and booked a flight. Then my mother calls that evening and informs me that my cousin Doris passed away. She had been very sick with cancer. So I scrambled to figure out different flight arrangements as I was intent on going to both funerals. To make a long story short…there was not going to be a funeral. There was going to be a viewing on Friday evening and then a gravesite memorial Saturday in Meadow, TX—an hour north of Lubbock. I thought to myself—sheesh, lots of flying involved. But the weather in that area was very bad. Most of Texas was freezing cold. My mother decided that she would, regrettably, not go to west Texas. I feel really bad about it but decided that I would not travel as well. Doris didn’t want a funeral and people boo-hooing over her. My mom and I will make a trip there once it warms up and we can spend more time there with our family.

So, I booked my flight and packed and was in somewhat of a rush to get things done. I always travel using my passport-even domestically so there are no questions asked-usually. I simply forgot my passport. When I got to the airport I handed over my driver’s license to the TSA guy and he asked if I had my renewal. OOPS! My license had expired last month on my birthday. Completely forgot. I told them that I did not have the renewal. He wrote all over my ticket—SSSS in bold and underline and circles. Well, I am not sure what SSSS stands for but I am almost sure that is one level below a cavity search. Security pulled me aside and went through all my bags and even bomb-tested my shoes. On my return it was the same procedure—SSSS all over the ticket. I wised up this time and decided to check my bag to speed up the process. I had some time to kill so I thought that after a week of death I needed a beer. They asked for my ID and said NO! Since it was expired---no beer. Bastards. So I just had a diet coke and chilled out. I did all of this on a sprained foot. My flights were also at the very last gate on the furthest wing of the airports. I hobbled my way everywhere. Oh well, I am home now.

The Established Bachelor No More...

Well Hell has officially frozen over. For those of you who know me well you know that I like living alone. I like having my privacy and my own space. It is time to grow up. Ron and I have decided that it would be a good idea to move in together. After almost a year of dating I felt it was the next logical step. In the past I would have been incredibly reluctant but not now and not with Ron. It just seems right. His lease is up at the end of March. We have placed a hold on a much larger loft in my building with a March 1st move in. That gives him a month to move his stuff in. I am not nervous really. That night after we decided to do this I could not sleep but now I am just fine and excited. After all this time of waiting and dating and all that crap, I finally found the right person. I know that living together will be challenging and hopefully we will not kill each otherJ This is why we got a loft with a separate bedroom! We are going to repaint the apartment since the building did a shitty job of repainting it. We have about 6 huge windows and 2 sets of French doors that open up to a Juliet balcony in the bedroom. We also have a 180 degree view since the apartment is located on a corner end of the building. The only problem is the closet, or really the lack thereof. We will have to get a closet system from Ikea. I am also gonna have to replace Ron’s plastic hangers with wooden hangers so that there is good closet karma all around! We are going to turn the cubby hole they call a cloest into a pantry/linen closet which will be perfect!!!! Overall we are excited and ready to move.

Oh Hell No...

There was an article in today’s DMN and The New York Times that really pissed me off. Basically a pug dug under the fence and escaped in Dallas. The owners searched and searched with no luck. Then on Wednesday an anonymous letter arrived that stated that the dog was found and given to her daughter as a Christmas present. Enclosed was a $20 bill. WTF!? I would be hunting this woman down with blood-thristy vengeance.

Read the article:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/010408dnmetstolendog.28a28e1.html

Be sure to read the woman’s letter to the dog owners as well.

This isn’t a childhood game of finders-keepers. Ugh. This will garner a ton of press and someone will come foreword about this. I feel confident that Scooter will be returned.

The Belly...

I don’t make New Years resolutions but this time I think I am gonna have to. In the last six months I have gone from 131 lbs to 156 lbs. I have myself and my job to thank for that. I have not worked out at all either. My 32 inch jeans are now too small and I have to wear them with the button undone to be comfortable. Now, everyone has told me that I look fine and that I am still very skinny. They are right to a certain extent. But these folks do not see me naked. It really isn’t the way I look that bothers me rather than the way I feel. My weight gain is in my tummy and since it is winter I am wearing larger clothes that disguise the shed I am building. Honestly, I am not all that concerned about the weight gain. I am more concerned with how I gained it all. When I stared my new job at FCS I thought WOW I don’t have to pay for food any more. Working for a company that caters in lunch everyday and has an open kitchen has been a money saving blessing! However, my one Diet Coke per day habit has now increased to three and my cereal intake has increased dramatically. Then there are the lunches. The menu is rotated regularly and they try and bring on new restaurants all the time. Here is the breakdown:

Monday: Usually BBQ or fish (Rockfish, Colters, Mama’s, etc)
Tuesday: Sandwiches and salads. (Which Wich, Potbelly, Atlanta Bread Co., Snappy Salads—YUMMY)-this is probably the most healthy of the week
Wednesday: Usually pastas and Italian or Chinese
Thursday: Mexican
Friday: Junk food (Sonic, Arbys, Pizza, etc)

During incredibly busy times such as a quarter end that requires us to be here during the late evening, and sometimes during the early night, dinner will be catered in. So you can see how convenient and cost effective this is. If there are leftovers then we can take some home. I rarely cook anymore and never during the week. Starting now, why wait till the New Year, I am chilling out on my food intake. Last night they catered in Chick-Fil-A, well…..I inhaled about 15 nuggets and a chicken sandwich. I felt miserable. I am fighting the urge/need to go buy a new pair of larger jeans. If I do that then that means they win. After I got home last night I crawled into bed and did some stuff online and was thinking to myself this hour that I am sitting here surfing the web I could be downstairs in our gym. I just closed the laptop, turned off the light, and went to bed.

Today, I have been working on the same diet coke since 8am (it is now 10:23). Lunch will be served soon and it is Pizza. Ugh. I left my wallet at home today otherwise I would have gone and picked something up that is much healthier. I don’t know, as I get older I fully expect to gain more weight as my metabolism slows down but it seems I am ahead of schedule. My goal is not to go by new pants.

Well my birthday is almost over and I have had a very relaxing and great day.  Chad parked the car in the garage and we took the train to Victory.  He, and I, was starving so we headed over to Luna de Noche for dinner.  The service was odd and the lights kept dimming up and down.  But the food, the margaritas and the company were first class.  So then we head over to the hockey game.  We have a drink at the Jack Daniels club then we attempted to find our seats.  We never did so we just sat down and had great seats right behind the goal. I really should learn how to post pictures on here just to show the great seats we had.  Thank you Merkin girl for the tickets and the passes to the club!!!  LOVE you!! So overall I had a great day.  It is still cold out and I could use a little snuggling with Ron.  However I am sure he needs it more since it is freezing cold in KC!  

Ninjas...

I have had a few folks ask me what the meaning is behind the phrase "I believe in Ninjas."  Well, first of all I love the phrase, love saying it.  It just sounds random and cool.  But then I really started thing about it.  It is random and off the wall.  I sometimes tend to be that way I guess Ninjas are serious people-I mean you would have to be serious to be a killing machine.  I can be very serious and I have watched enough ALIAS to be a self proclaimed killing machine! HA!  Overall, it is just a saying and I love it!  So there you have it.

Good Morning...

Ahhh, the morning of my 32nd birthday as arrived.  I slept in till around 930.  I got up, took a shower and made myself some scrambled eggs with pancheta and parmesan cheese.  Then I started reading my new cookbook from Ina Garten, The Barefoot Contessa Parties! (one of my gifts from Ron).  I love throwing parties and wish I had had this book much sooner!  Some people read novels, I read cookbooks-cover to cover!  I would totally start cooking something now but I have the oven on self-clean.  There was a Vodka Chicken Pasta incident last night before doing airport duty.  As I was removing the coveted VCP from the oven I dropped it.  Just slipped right out of my hands and went all over the oven. (VCP is basically one of the finest dishes EVER and Campisis in downtown Dallas is makes the best).  I had to wait a few hours for it to cool completely down before removing the food.  So poor Ron went to the airport hungry and I had mushy VCP to clean up.   

In Philly...

On my way home this evening I could not help but overhear a conversation two men were having about the difference between Dallas and Philadelphia.  Both men where obviously from Philly from the context of their conversation.  They like Dallas and stated it was less ghetto.  I must agree.  I have been to Philadelphia many times and have enjoyed each trip but yea, it can get a little ghetto.  What really caught my ear was that one man stated that everything is so much more expensive in Philly compared to Dallas.  I would have to agree with that.  But did you know that a loaf of bread will cost you 2.50 and that a vile of crack will run you 2 dollars?  3 viles will be 5 dollars.  What a bargain.  

The New Mac...

This past weekend I purchased a brand new laptop to replace my aging Dell. My curiosity turned me to Apple. A few people I know have them and love them. So I took the plunge and so far I am glad I did! I was a little nervous about switching from a PC to a Mac. I am not at all familiar with the operating system on Mac but Windows has been driving me crazy. When I pulled my new MacBook out of the box and turned it on it asked me about 4 questions and then it was setup. Everything worked instantly. I was like wow, fast. Then I needed to download my stuff from the PC to the Mac. My intent was to wirelessly network both machines but the wireless on the dell had stopped reading my modem for some reason. I was also confused about how to use the cable to transfer, Ron and I both had issues with that. Then I had to go and get the cable wet and ruined it. So I used Ron’s external hard drive. Transferring the files from the PC to that drive took about 45 minutes. Transferring the files from the hard drive to the Mac took 10 minutes. All I had to do was drag and drop the files and it all set itself up. To date, I am impressed with my purchase. I even had a video chat with a friend back in London and was crystal clear. The MacBook has a built-in camera that works great. Everyone told me that using a Mac would be much easier and more efficient-which I am all about. Just the look of the machine is great. Very sleek, simple, and stylish. Despite the price tag the purchase was well worth it!

Football...

I have a boyfriend that is really into football. This is a first for me. It certainly doesn’t bother me at all. During my single days I would turn on the Cowboys and do my chores around the house. Not really watching but I liked the back ground noise and would stop and watch a few minutes. Since football season has started I have now become more football savvy. Ron will switch back and forth between different games but all I really care about are the Dallas Cowboys! Have you seen the dark blue uniforms—simply fabulous! Anyway, I have noticed a trend in quarterbacks-they are hot! Tony Romo, Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Payton Manning—all major hotness! Although T.O. is not a QB, he is still a very pretty black man-great skin and teeth! Go Cowboys!!

One Sick Puppy...

Why do dogs like to eat cat shit? I don’t get it? I thought I had found a dog with a better palette but I was wrong. The shitty litter box is in the utility room and I have to keep the door slightly ajar so that Ms. Kitty can get in. In the months that I have had Moses he has never gotten into her box. Well, now he has. The other night I noticed that his breath was awful. I mean down right repulsive. I gave him a greenie and wish now that I hadn’t. He ate it and we went to bed. His breath was still explosive. I moved him to the other side of the bed. In the middle of the night I hear him throwing up on the bed. What came out was brown. I immediately cleaned it up with OxyClean™. Then I put him in the tub at 4am. His breath still nasty. I was like “what in the hell did you get into?” It never occurred to me that he was having cat dung hor’s de vours. I was able to get more sleep and when I was about to walk out the door he urinated all over himself on the sofa. So I gave him another bath and then cleaned the sofa. When I got home I found litter pellets on the rug. I followed the trail and found a few cat turds. BINGO! I then brushed his teeth. He didn’t like this but I couldn’t take it anymore. He did this again and I caught him. I try and clean the box everyday but the little shit (no pun intended) keeps beating me to it. I rigged the little box to where he has no access.

The Gigerbread House...

Before I became deathly ill on Saturday I picked up a gingerbread house kit from Target™. I thought “how fun!!” I have always been intrigued by these houses. The depth and difficulty and time it takes to master this craft is amazing. I have always wanted to give it a try. Target makes it easy! For 9.99 you can pick up your very own kit. The kit comes complete with everything you need to assemble and decorate your house. Even the ginger bread is cooked and ready to go. I get home and immediately start to work. There are some adjustments I would have made to the directions but I decided to follow them. Ron and I assembled the walls and then added the roof pieces. We held the roof in place for 1 minute and waited 10 minutes after that to start decorating. Well the roof began to separate so I added more icing. So far so good. Then the decorating began. This where I should have altered the directions. Adding the décor should have been done before setting up the walls. The windows look like they melted and the candy added just seemed to droop. Again the roof began to slide. I wished I had some glue at this point but that would have been cheating. The icing, which came in its own bag turned out to be messy. Ron was icing a portion of the house and I guess was squeezing too hard with his muscular arms and the end of the bag exploded and icing went all over him. The kitchen was an absolute wreck. Over all it turned out just ok. And from a distance you can’t tell that there is anything wrong with it. It is like a Monet painting. It looks great from afar but up close it looks like crap.

I Was Poisoned...

Saturday Ron and I decided to grab lunch at Jake’s on McKinney Ave. in Uptown. We have been there many times before. He ordered “The Works” which amounts to a heart attack on a poppy seed bun. I ordered “The Mushroom Swiss Burger” which amounts to very high cholesterol on a poppy seed bun. We like Jake’s. The burgers are great and the tea comes to the table already sweet by a pretty girl with low rise jeans (which shows off her tramp stamp*), and a low cut Jake’s t-shirt with overflowing boobs. As gay men we don’t go there for the scenery. So Saturday I was eating my burger thinking to myself “wow, this is one tasty burger!” About 3 hours later I started not to feel so hot. I felt like there was someone pressing really hard on my chest and eventually every time I swallowed I felt the need to vomit. I laid down around 3:30 or so, the pressure on my chest rising. I was fully dressed in sweats and socks and shirt and under the comforter. I was shaking and the need to hurl was almost too much to bear. I asked Ron to fetch me some 7Up™. This did the trick. I vomited for what seemed like forever. While the hamburger had digested the mushrooms decided to hang out and stay a while. Then the mushrooms decided to come back to say hello in full constitution. I returned back to bed, shaking still. This process continued for a while. Then I started sweating. Sweating like a whore in church. Then stuff started coming out the other end and that is all I am going to say about that. Anyway, by 11pm I started feeling a little better but probably because I was exhausted. I slept through the night and woke up Sunday and was so sore I could barely move. Ron, the sweet kind gentleman he is, lovingly bathed my back in Icy Hot™. So the rest of the day I smelled like a walking medicine cabinet and chilled on the sofa lying on a heating pad watching 5+ hours of Law & Order. My stomach is much better today. I am not saying to not eat at Jake’s because the food is really good. Next time I shall bypass the mushrooms. And I have determined that Jesse L. Martin is a one handsome black man.

*Tramp Stamp is a tattoo on the small of one’s back that is noticeable by wearing low rise jeans

Toto...

I swear that I am going to put a sign on my dog that states “I am NOT Toto, Bitches!” If I have one more person come up to me and ask if Moses is Toto I will probably commit a homicide. Moses is a Yorkshire Terrier. Toto is a Cairn Terrier. Now, there is some discussion as to the type of terrier breed that Toto was. Frank L. Baum never specified the breed in his Oz books. He explained that Toto was “a little black dog, with long, silky hair and small black eyes…” This description could be any type of small dog. In the illustrations in the novel, Toto is believed to be a Cairn Terrier which are very similar to a Yorkie and a Cairn was used in the movie. Ugh.

Black Friday...

… is ridiculous. The day after Thanksgiving, now known as Black Friday, is unquestionably the biggest shopping day of the year. What I don’t understand is why people get up and wait in line, in the cold, to save a few bucks at midnight. But are they really saving all that much? Probably not. I have never worked retail but I have friends who have and an ex-boyfriend you still does. From what I was told the stores slowly inch up the price above its suggested retail price and then “discount” it back down to the price they were selling for in the first place. I noticed this the other day while in Macy's. I knew what I was looking for and found it. The product was “on sale.” I had already done my research and I knew what all the other stores were selling them for. But this store I was in was selling it for $30.00 more and then had placed it on sale for the regular price it should be in the first place. This made me mad and when the sweet associate approached me soliciting help I decided that I would question her about this. I asked her why this product was “originally” 160.00 and now it is on sale for 129.95. She responded back that 160 is the original price and that it was a good deal at the sale price. Then I said, “But why are all the other stores in the area and online selling this product at an original price of 129.95?” Her pupils enlarged and her breathing quickened. All of a sudden she was trying to walk away and I prevented her from doing so. She said that she could not comment on other store’s prices. I then asked her to comment on her stores prices and she was seriously trying to get away from me. It was like there was an alarm and a red light going off in the store—“Informed shopper in aisle 5! All associates must evacuate!” So, needless to say that I will not be making that purchase at Macy's.

A Vegetarian Thanksgiving...

No, there was no Tofurkey™. My brother had no initial intentions of having a meatless Thanksgiving dinner but that is how it turned out. Two disasters plagued my brother’s kitchen yesterday. Everything was coming along just fine. He decided to do a ham instead of a Turkey, which is perfectly fine. More on that later. My brother was making his cornbread dressing and the giblet gravy. He needed a dish and as he was pulling one out of the cabinet he dropped it. The dish shattered into the cornbread and gravy rendering both ruined. Then came the unveiling of the ham. The ham was beautiful. Then came the taste test. First off, the directions were followed exactly. I tasted it and it was like licking a salt lick. I was afraid that I was going to go into some sort of sodium shock and would most definitely be diabetic. The ham was so salty that it was inedible. So, we had a green bean casserole, rolls, stuffing (a second batch was made), and macaroni and cheese. All while the Cowboy game was on in the living room. Can’t have Thanksgiving without the Dallas Cowboys!

Toy dangers...

I know I am not a parent but I used to be a child back in the 70’s and early 80’s. Kids today are wimps and wusses! All this talk about toy dangers and recalls just makes me laugh. I remember the toys that I had. Big metal dump trucks with sharp edges that would eventually rust but we kept playing with them. Remember the Jack-in-the-Box? Today they are made of boring plastic but the one I had was a large metal box. The Jack would not pop out of the box after a few cranks of the handle. No No! He would eject from the box like an F16 fighter pilot. I also had a small airplane that I would play with all the time. The nose of the plane was so sharp that I cut myself several times. I guess I was smart enough not to eat my Lego’s and not ingest my coveted Light Bright accessories. I use to crush matchbox cars in the iron vice in the garage. The vice was a good 50 lbs and was sitting loose on the work bench. It never fell on me!! I survived all these toy dangers. Today’s children will never know the joy of harmful toys and that is a shame. I am all about keeping kids safe but come on! I remember hanging my brother in a tree in the front yard…he survived. Perhaps we should outlaw trees and rope. Just give them a circle of paper and safety scissors. Everything is dangerous in one way or another. What doesn’t kill only makes us stronger.

Lost...

Last night I was on my way home on the 183. Considering the crappy week I had I was so pleased to see the bus on time. That was a short lived blessing. The drivers are rotated about every six months or so. Apparently a rotation had taken place. The new driver had never driven the 183 Express route before. Instead of getting on the tollway at Alpha and 635 she kept going straight on Inwood. Of course everyone had to say something. She explained the issue and the crowd understood so we had to direct her back onto the tollway. She had never driven a N.Dallas route ever. One man yelled at her and said “LET ME DRIVE” to which she responded “Sure! You can go on down to DART and fill out an application.” I was a nice ride overall and as I exited the vessel I said good night and thank you to which she responded “you have a blessed night.” Today I drove in. I had no problems getting to the office but I fear the trek home will be a massacre.

To the back of the bus...

Yesterday was a terrible day for me in general. Just a frustrating day at work mainly. I leave the office and head for the bus to go home. During the hour I stood waiting, there was supposed to be four buses come by. Nothing. Finally a bus shows and was full. I found a seat at the very back of the bus. I usually do not sit at the back and haven’t sat there on a local bus in a long time. I sit down and was obviously the minority but that doesn’t bother me. People chatting, laughing, complaining about the wait and traffic. One man pulls out a radio and we listen to the likes of Marvin Gaye, Gladys Night, and Teddy Pendergrass. One man was talking about a stabbing that happened in his neighborhood. Another chimes in and reminds him that the victim was stabbed three times. Then we heard that dreaded sound that I know all too well; the sound of metal crunching. A car next to the bus plowed into the car in front of them. We kept on going. The woman sitting near me told me that bus had hit her a few years ago, side-swiping her on her way to her grandmother’s funeral and driving her mother’s car. At that point I decided that my day really wasn’t that bad and enjoyed the ride. After an hour and a half commute (usually it is 30 minutes) I finally made my way home in much better spirits than when I left the office. I walked the dog, had some lasagna, drank a beer, took a shower, watched some Desperate Housewives, and went to bed.

Damn...

My favorite thing in the world, Totino’s Party Pizza™, has fallen victim to E.Coli O157:H7. I am very upset over this as I have been eating these since I was a child. I ate one Tuesday for dinner and savored every bite. Now I could die from it! According to the press release there have been people getting sick and having kidney failure. The numbers are small but E. Coli works in mysterious ways. I lived as a vegetarian for many years and still follow a vegetarian diet the best I can. I do eat fish and occasionally I will ingest pork and some chicken but not often. But I LOVE the pepperoni Totino’s Party Pizza’s. The pepperoni’s are little chunks that are juicy and yummy. I pop one in the oven for 14 minutes (I like mine really done) @ 450, then I slice it up and enjoy. Now I am gonna have kidney failure. I have never had a product that I enjoy recalled (other than a vehicle). Possible death is not a health issue to me, it is more like OMG I AM GONNA DIE type of thing, and I am not freaking out if that is what you are thinking. I am just concerned that I have ingested MANY of these pizzas since July (this is when they are saying the possible contamination occurred). Am I gonna stop eating them? Yes, for the time being. I will wait until there is an all clear to consume. Until then I will have to find an alternative but it will be hard, if not impossible, to replace a perfectly portioned, .99 cent piece of heaven.

Press release:
http://www.fsis.usda.gov/News_&_Events/Recall_049_2007_Release/index.asp

A magnificent obsession…

I have never written about this issue before. I felt that it was time to address it. I have a problem, an addiction if you will, to pointy things. Basically a pointy thing is a paper napkin or other paper-like product fashioned into a sharp point by tightly folding the paper until the end is sharp and pointy. Pointy things are also made well from crisp sheets or a stiff cotton shirt. I know this all sounds weird and that's because it is. I emptied out the murse (man purse) this morning and discovered 22 pointy things bunched up in several pockets. Every time I go to a fast food establishment I am given more napkins than needed. I don’t throw these away-no, no. I embrace them as my own. I stash them away in the murse, a drawer, the glove compartment, etc for future use as a pointy thing. Some establishments have better quality paper products than others. Jack-in-the-Box has great, long-lasting napkins. Starbucks has really nice ones as well but the paper will tend to disintegrate after about an hours use, causing a little mess. This is typical of recycled paper but I don’t mind at all. The thicker the paper the better in most cases. The napkins at work are wonderful for making pointy things. They have about an eight hour life span then they are useless. What do I do with these pointy things you ask? Well I will tell you. I poke myself with them. I don’t know why I do this. I really do not believe that this is a nervous habit. It is just something I do and have done since I was a little boy. My mother was the one to coin the term “pointy thing.” She has washed many a pant that has come out of the dryer with a shredded PT. A washed PT can cause a little mess in the laundry especially when the paper is big like a paper towel. Speaking of…paper towels are not the best PT’s. They are thin and flimsy but make a decent substitute. Might I suggest the select-a-size versions of the paper towel? The best PT’s in my opinion are cocktail napkins. These are course in texture and make a very sharp, long-lasting PT. I love the cocktail napkins on American Airlines. I usually like to snag a few before leaving the plane so that I may savor their pointiness for later. So this is, has been, and probably will be an obsession until the day I die. I can’t help it.

Sporn…

Spam+Porn=Sporn.

Every time I sign into yahoo messenger I get several offline messages for porn sites. It is kind of funny in a way. Yesterday I received one that said “Hi, my name is Ginger and I like to ride hard cock! Cum visit my site!” This morning the message said “Pee on me.” Classy stuff people, classy stuff.

Escalator etiquette…

Queue to the right people! Living in London I came accustomed very quickly to using the escalators in the Tube. London has some of the longest escalators in the world. People who ride know to stand to the right. This clears the left side for people who want to walk it. There is always some fool (tourist) who will stand on the left, blocking the path. So back in the USA, I get super annoyed when people do not move or “queue to the right.” This just ticks me off to no end. I like to walk the escalators and the crotch holding homeboy with saggy pants just standing there blocking everyone just makes me wanna throw him over the railing. Just please move over.

Fall has arrived...

I just love the first cold snap of the season! This means the time has arrived for stews and soups, cashmere sweaters, hot toddies and dark beer, thick house socks, scarves, cuddling up, and bundling up. I have started replacing my summer attire with my fall/winter stuff. I am so excited. My cooler weather clothing is more luxurious and more comfortable than my summer stuff. This is my favorite time of year. Right around the end of October is when I feel great, I sleep great, my attitude is great. I think ‘peachy’ sums it all up. I had the windows open last night while sleeping and was in heaven. The temperature fell to about 48 I think and I slept like a baby under the warm covers.

Time...

We go through life meeting people everyday. Sometimes those people we meet have some sort of impact on our lives. That impact, being either positive or negative, is entirely inconsequential. You see someone on the street, a plane, a train, etc and think “that person looks familiar to me” or “I know that person from somewhere. This has happened to me many times. A few months ago I ran into a guy I went to high school with. I hadn’t seen him in eight years. He remembered me and we caught ourselves up on each other’s lives then parted ways. Yesterday, as I made my way home, there were two gentlemen sitting behind me and I could not help but overhear their conversation. They knew each other from somewhere but were stumped to know how their paths had crossed in the past. Did they work together? No. Did they go to school together? No. This went on for about 15 minutes. Then it dawned on one of them how he knew the other. He asked “I think we did time together!” The other man laughed and said “That’s right! We did do time together!” I sat there and smiled and thought about how we meet certain people in the most unlikely of places.

The Sandman...

As a youngling I would try and stay up as late as I could and for no good reason except to just stay up. My mother would tell me that if I didn’t go to bed that the Sandman would come and sprinkle sand in my eyes. This absolutely terrified me. I would bolt up and run to my bed. My heart pounding in my ears. My body trembling from the sheer terror of the thought of a stranger sprinkling sand in my eyes. I specifically remember a moment that will stick with me forever. I was pushing the envelope of the witching hour really hard. My mother would insist that I go to bed. I always protested. Finally, she said that the Sandman would soon come. Again, I protested. This would continue for a while. Then I heard a knock at the front door. I don’t think my feet hit the floor once as I flew into my bedroom. Later in life my mother would explain to me that she had never known any child as terrified of the sandman as I was. She told me that the sandman was a gentle person and that he only brought happy dreams and a good night sleep. I thought she was full of crap! She used my fear to her advantage and it worked!

According to folklore and my mother:
The Sandman is a character in popular Western folklore who brings good sleep and dreams by sprinkling magic sand onto the eyes of children. Traditionally he is a character in many children's stories, invoked to help (or lull) children to sleep. He is said to sprinkle sand or dust on or into the eyes of the child at night to bring on dreams and sleep. The grit or 'sleep' (rheum) in one's eyes upon waking is supposed to be the result of the Sandman's work the previous evening.

And the following is what I believed:
E.T.A. Hoffmann wrote an inverse depiction of the lovable character in a story called Der Sandmann, which showed how sinister such a character could be made. According to the protagonist's nurse, he threw sand in the eyes of children who wouldn't sleep, with the result of those eyes falling out and being collected by the Sandman, who then takes the eyes to his iron nest on the moon, and uses them to feed his children. The protagonist of the story grows to associate this nightmarish creature with the genuinely sinister figure of his father's associate Coppelius.

I have grown out of my fear of the Sandman. My brother makes fun of me from time to time about this but then I inform him that at least I was not terrified of E.T.!

Moses was violated....

Last night I was walking Moses near the poo poo park on Browder St. Well, this other, really cute dog, comes up and they immediately start sniffing each other. Well, the other dog, who was much bigger, took moses from behind! Seriously! The dog grabbed Moses with his front legs and held tight and then began humping my dog! Moses looked at me like "help me please!" I was laughing my butt off!! Poor thing! The dog's owner was very apologetic and laughed only after I did. She told me that he was just neutered. Guess he was having phantom pains or something. HA!

Annie Lennox--The Concert...

Last night Ron and I attended the Annie Lennox concert and it was spectacular. The house was packed and Annie was brilliant. The woman gets better looking and better sounding with every passing moment. The stage was simple and elegant, no fancy and over-the-top special effects. She doesn’t need them as her voice, her style, and her mere presence is all the effects one needs. She packed 17 songs into 75 minutes-both new and old-and the crowd went wild for each and every one! Here is the song lineup:

1. No More I Love You’s
2. Little Bird
3. Walking on Broken Glass
4. Pavement Cracks
5. Dark Road
6. Smithereens
7. Here Comes the Rain Again
8. A Thousand Beautiful Things
9. Sisters are Doing It for Themselves
10. Cold
11. Would I Lie To You?
12. Ghosts In My Machine
13. When Tomorrow Comes
14. Thorn In My Side
15. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
16. Sing
17. Why

The DMN review can be found here:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/ent/stories/DN-lennox_1015gl.ART.State.Edition1.3861418.html

My review: SIMPLY FABULOUS!

It was the second highlight of my year!

Annie Lennox...

This glorious Sunday will be heavenly indeed as Ron and I will be enjoying the musical genius of the incomparable Annie Lennox in concert! I will post details after the concert!

National Coming Out Day….

Apparently this day was yesterday Oct 11. Wow! There is seriously a day for everything. I think this day is stupid, this National Coming Out Day bull shit. Coming out of the closet can be difficult enough. Coming out should be done on your own time, not Oct 11 specifically. I suppose that some people need a reason…you know when you are ready to come out and Oct 11 is not special date. If you feel comfortable with this then that is fine but don’t use this date a point of no return. Come out when you are ready and only when you are ready! It just ticks me off to see a booth positioned in gayborhoods where you can ‘register’ your coming out. WTF??? Why do you need to register for this? This isn’t like signing up for the draft or a damn MasterCard! Ugh. Oh, by the way…it is the day after National Coming Out and I am GAY! I am a Homo! A Trouser Trooper! A Fudge Packer! A Butt Pirate—argggg! Thanks! I feel much better now! HA!

The new dog part 4…the Yorkshire Terrorist….

Well, Mr. Moses has certainly come into his own. A few weeks ago I took Moses to get neutered. Since the whacking of his testicles he has become more aggressive and playful. Kinda odd but you never know what will become of a dog once they loose their balls. He is still the best little dog ever and I have had no regrets about taking him into my home. The barking issue has still been an issue until this week. My vet is also an animal behaviorist. I made an appointment and we went to see her last Saturday. We talked and I explained the situation. She told me that he just doesn’t like being alone—which I knew. But what I wanted to know was how to fix this problem of the ass-rape sounding barking. So $100 bucks later I walk out of there feeling a little hopeful and with D.A.P. in hand. This device resembles a Glade Plug-In™ (I love using the ™ symbol) air freshener. D.A.P. stands for “Dog Appeasing Pheromone.” Here is the product description:

Developed for pet owners by veterinarians, D.A.P.™ (Dog Appeasing Pheromone) mimics the properties of the natural pheromones of the lactating female. Within three to five days after giving birth, the female generates pheromones that give their puppies a sense of well-being and reassurance, known as appeasing pheromones. Pheromones are picked up and detected by an animal's sense of smell producing specific responses. By replicating this signal of comfort, D.A.P.™ helps alleviate fear and stress related signs in the puppy and adult dog.

I was skeptical about this but decided that, at this point, I would try anything! I plugged this in near his kennel when I got home from the vet. Then on Monday I placed him in his kennel before leaving for the office. He didn’t bark at all!! I stood outside my loft just waiting....nothing. It has been this way all week! He has not barked at all-not even a whine! This isn’t a drug or a sedative and only dogs can sense this. It apparently does not work for every dog but it certainly works for mine. No more shock collar, no more wanting to beat him senseless, no more disturbing the neighbors. He is growling more at other dogs and basically has become more aggressive but it is still super cute. When he plays he looks like he is going to bite you as he lunges toward your face. He is actually smiling big! But it looks ferocious and evil. Infact, he will barely just nibble on you and lick you clean!

DART Lazies...

There was an article this morning in the paper about people complaining that the trains are to cramped and they have no place to sit. Poor poor babies! People are so damn lazy! Mass transit is an option, not a requirement for people in this region. If you want to sit on your ride to work either get to the station earlier, later, or drive. This ticks me off! As more and more people opt to utilize our growing transit system things are getting more crowded. I don’t complain. Places like New York and London are crowded all the time. It is just the way things are. However, these yokels around here want the same comfort on a train as their own vehicle provides. First of all, I have no sympathy for the folks who attempt to escape the sinister ways of an ever expanding downtown. They buy cookie-cutter houses that are within 1 foot of each other and send their children to “good schools.” They are just fooling themselves, sinister ways are everywhere and they cannot escape reality-no matter how hard you try. Anyway, that is for another blog I suppose. What kills me is that these people move out to places within 20 minutes of the Oklahoma border and complain that their commute on DART takes to long into Downtown. At this point the farthest station is Parker Road-way the heck up there. That commute from Parker to Pearl Station takes about 30 or so minutes. If they drove that distance during rush hour then you are looking at over an hour. So they are unhappy that they have to stand sometimes. Get some exercise people! If you are working downtown then chances are that you sit at a desk for 8 hours. I am so sick of people being so lazy and complain that the trains do not have enough seating for everyone. Each train car seats about 75 people and can accommodate another 60-70 standing. During rush hour there are at least 3 cars attached. This amounts to a trip capacity of over 400+ and with the rush hour trains running every 10 minutes…..you do the math. People are just so damn lazy I just wanna scream! Another complaint was that the seats are too small. Well, I am sorry; this ain’t first class on British Airways! This is mass transit!! If the seats are to small then the likelihood of your ass being too big is about 99.9%. There are several strategies for claiming a seat on a rush hour train. God forbid that lazy people should have to think, much less strategize. Sheesh!

I Was Violated...

This morning, as I made my way to the office, I was violated! The obviously gay homosexual sitting next to me (who is also trying to cling to his youth by bleaching his hair) touched my butt. I am not kidding! As I was getting up to exit at my stop he touched my arse. This could have been on accident but somehow I doubt it. My butt was looking good in the jeans I had on so why would anyone not wanna touch my butt? HA! Anyway, I turned to look at him expecting a quick apology but none was given. I through him a dirty and disgusted look, the look that is reminiscent of a Miranda Priestly, and exited my mass transit vessel. Dirty old queen! There is only on man who is allowed to touch me like that on purpose and that is Ron. How ballsy can one guy be? To touch another man’s toosh and look at me like he meant to do it takes major guts. I can understand doing this on accident when the trains/buses are full during rush hour or something. I mean, in New York City you can board the Lexington Avenue Express during rush hour and achieve orgasm before you get to your stop from the crowd of people pressed up against you. But when it isn’t crowded there should be no reason to fondle anyone.

Hey everyone!

This site is replacing MySpace. I have transfered all the blogs I have done on MS and posted them on here for your reading pleasure. There will be more to come!!

From The Dallas Morning News...

Civil courts reporter Michael Grabell says this filing has his vote for lawsuit of the year:

Jonathan Lee Riches © (who writes his name with a copyright symbol) has filed a lawsuit in Dallas federal court against 13 organizations including the Holy Land Foundation, the Make-A-Wish Foundation and the Jerry Lewis Telethon. He alleges a massive global Jewish conspiracy headquartered at the Sixth Floor Museum and orchestrated by none other than …Madonna.
Among other allegations, the self-proclaimed "Ambassador for Inmate Lawsuits" contends that the charities roam American streets with donation cups raising money for a "Jewish new world order." He also says that several Hollywood actors who won Emmys are actually rabbis supported by Phil Collins.
"Defendants extorted me on 7-7-07, taking my money from my prison account and giving the money to Michael Vick to buy Torah scrolls for the Boy Scouts to make Boy Scout cookies laced with deadly Jewish spices made by Pepsi, which stands for Paying Each Penny Supports Israel," he claims in his handwritten lawsuit from federal prison in South Carolina.
"Defendants have their secret headquarters at the Texas School Book Depository on the 6th Floor with Oswald and Lyndon B. Johnson as a security guard, Blackwater USA," he continues. "This headquarters is a staging ground to spread Jewish perversion in Americans' water supply and Enron power and Adelphia Communications, backed by WorldCom's CEO Ebbers, his family, and BTK followers in Kansas, going to restrooms in Minnesota, swinging American's minds with Hank Aaron's bat."
So who is this man with a seemingly encyclopedic knowledge for news?
According to Wikipedia, this isn't Mr. Riches' first go-around with conspiracy theories. Mr. Riches, who was convicted in Houston for his role in an identity theft ring, made international news last month when he filed another lawsuit claiming that Michael Vick stole his pit bulls.
He has filed 40 federal lawsuits since January 2006, including seven this week. And they always manage to string together the latest headlines. Among them:
*That Lebron James, Michael Jordan, Mickey Mantle and other sports figures broke into Watergate, picked on him in high school and fought in the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
*That Barry Bonds used Hank Aaron's bat to crack the Liberty Bell.
*That Larry King is a voodoo witch doctor who stole his identity and used it buy lead paint.
And that's just this summer. The rest are compiled on Wikipedia.

The Neighbor...

I swear my building is like Melrose Place/Wisteria Lane/Dallas. I love living where I do. I also have great neighbors. Nice, quiet, hard working individuals who pick up the paper or a package for you when you are away, etc. A nice quiet neighbor is a blessing. I have often wondered about what these people do. I am not sure I know what the ladies across the hall do. I know one travels a lot. My other neighbor helps manage a café and the other neighbor, whose loft backs up to mine, is a whore. Yes folks I live next to a call girl/prostitute/hoochie/ho-what ever you want to call the world's oldest profession-that is her occupation. I don't care what she does as long as I don't have to hear it going on-if you know what I mean. She has been nothing but nice to me and has been, surprisingly, very quiet. I rarely ever hear a peep from her. I started hearing rumors that she was a "model" which turned to the rumor she was a call girl. I was curious so I went online and found her website(s). Yipes! I now know wayyyyy to much about her! For about 400 bucks an hour you can partake in her companionship. She is in the process of moving out. In a way it is a good thing and in another I will miss having such a quiet neighbor. These days many people do not really get to know the people they are living around. In the good ole days everyone knew each other. Now, not so much. I must say that I am guilty of not knowing my neighbors well and in this instance I wish I had not gone digging around on the internet. Oh well. I just hope my next neighbor will be just as quiet. Let's just hope they aren't a crack dealer

The New Dog Part 3...

On Monday Moses became half the man he used to be. I took Tuesday off to make sure he was ok. He is perfectly fine. He has been sleeping a lot and I have noticed that he is a little more laid back than before. I am hoping that the neuter will eventually calm his barking while I am away. At this point cutting off his balls has only made his bark higher pitched. I got him a larger crate so he has more room. I even purchased a new stereo to help drown out his barking (that and I just wanted a new stereo). This still does not calm the beast. I am still using the "behavior collar" and it does work but not in the beginning. The sadistic little bastard barks right through it for about 5 minutes. I put him in the closet which is further away from my neighbors. The clothes help absorb the sound but only about 10%. I have to put pillows around the kennel and close the closet door and then turn on the stereo. If I don't do this then his bark will most definitely peel pain off the walls. His wark (whine/bark) is so unnerving that it sounds like 1) Ms. Kitty is stabbing him or 2) he is being ass raped or 3) both of these. The sound is horrifying and it can be heard from the third floor-I live on four-I am not kidding! Although it doesn't last long it still breaks my heart. He does not want me to leave and I simply cannot allow him run of the apartment because of his barking. My neighbors have done everything but kill me and I am afraid that might be next. So I have been keeping him in the closet and I have had no complaints. I mean at one point, building management removed him from my apartment and kept him in the office all day. I am not giving up. I am trying to not use the collar as well. It is hard to believe that such a sound can come from a 5 lb animal. When I get home he is thrilled to see me and he seems to forget that he has been in that kennel all day. I take him for his walk and he frolics in the grass. Overall, a happy little fellow-until I leave.

The New Dog Part 2...

It has been 8 days since I acquired Moses. Despite the sound barrier breaking barking issue he has been a blessing in disguise! His separation anxiety is worse than anything I have ever seen! For the most part I fixed the problem. The lady at PetSmart tried to talk me into an animal behaviorist. Um, no. I am not sending my dog to a doggie shrink. Although I wouldn't mind having The Dog Whisperer come and whisper to Moses. If anyone is going to see a shrink on my dime it is going to be me. M'kay!! Anyway, Sunday Ron and I gave Moses a bath. He just stood there and let me bathe him. We then blow-dried him and he didn't mind. After we let him go he ran all over the apartment with much gusto, rubbing his face all over everything. So CUTE! I am an early riser-around 6am. Since I take a shower the night before it takes me less time in the morning to get ready and that only takes 10 minutes since I can wear whatever to work. Now I must get up around 5:30am and take him out to the bathroom. I don't mind really. It gets both of us on a routine. This morning I took him out and when I got back to the apartment I picked him up and said goodbye for the day. Well apparently he stepped in poo outside because I noticed a streak of dog crap on my shirt! I rode all the way to the office with shit on my clothes….nice, real nice. Fortunately I noticed before everyone showed up at the office. I almost decided to go by a new shirt right then and there but I wiped it out with a wet cloth. Nothing like a shitty start to a Tuesday morning.

Ms. Kitty vs. the Boyfriend...

I have had Ms. Kitty for almost 7 years. I found her at the SCPA and just had to have her. I must say that she has been the best pet ever. As she has gotten older (she is about 11 now) I have noticed that she is getting more clingy and needy. She sleeps right next to me near the pillow. She never did this before-always on the foot of the bed. It has been an odd trend in her behavior. Then I met someone early in the year. He is a cool guy and I really like him. Ms. Kitty likes him too. It seems she has taken up the roll of that high school trip chaperone. You know the type….slaps you if you get "to close for comfort." When my man stays over Ms. Kitty turns into that chaperone. Getting between us, climbing on top of both of us, meowing her displeasure every step of the way! It is like she is yelling "STOP IT! HE'S MINE!" She is very protective. Although lately I am concerned about whom she is protecting. Me or him? I mean it is like Ms. Kitty has turned Baptist or something.

The New Dog...

Day 1 8/27

Phillip calls me telling me that he has a dog that needs a home. A friend of his ex-girlfriend has a Yorkshire Terrier that she needed to get rid of. He said he is really cute and really laid back, about a year old. So I get home from work and he brings this super cute Wookie looking creature over. This dog apparently has been passed around but he has a good attitude and is really friendly and laid back. After he leaves I am stuck looking at this creature and vise versa. I picked him up and looked right at him and informed him of the rules of the house.
1. There will be no using the bathroom in my house.
2. Any barking must be kept to a minimum.
3. I know people spoil Yorkies. Do not expect me to spoil you rotten.
a. I will not carry you
b. I will not prepare special meals/table feed you
c. I will not dress you in ridiculous looking costumes
4. Ms. Kitty is the boss around here. Leave her alone and she won't cut you.
5. I will NOT have a dog that bites…period

It seems that he has gotten the message. Although he is incredibly intrigued by Ms. Kitty. She may still cut him….only time will tell. Anyway, I am reluctant to name the dog just yet. Once a name has been produced then there is no turning back.

Day 2 8/28:

The first night went well. Although he did wake me up a few times in the night. Ms. Kitty gets up to use her bathroom and grab a few morsels of Meow Mix before returning back to bed. The sound of her in the litter box freaked puppy out. He barked once and I said NO NO. He looked at me like he understood and refrained from further vocal outbursts. I took him out before heading to the office. He pees, he poos, he is done. Perfect! I was very apprehensive of keeping him in his small crate while away at work. So I decided to set him up in the bathroom. I put a small pillow, blanket, water, a little food, a chew toy, and radio so he could listen to some music (classical). I got home and he was thrilled to see me. He did not use the bathroom at all. I took him outside and he proceeded to pee on everything, marking his territory I am sure. I took him out again before going to bed. Same issue during the middle of the night. He jumped down this time to see what Ms. Kitty was up to. He jumped several times. But when he wanted on the bed he whined like he wanted me to pick him up. NOW WAY! You got up here once; you can do the same again. Surprisingly he is a good jumper as my bed is somewhat tall. He finally settled down and went to sleep. So far so good.
I will be posting pictures and updates before the end of the week!

A River Runs Though It...

I needed to get out of town for a few days and so I did. I went tubing/white water rafting. It was fun until almost the end of the experience when I guess some begotten karma kicked in and I was washed away from my inflated water vessel. The rapids and current were so strong that my water shoes were ripped right off my feet! You need those shoes when in the water because the rocks are sharp and slippery. Those shoes are long gone now. Thank goodness my bathing suit was tied! Anyway, we were coming up on some fairly strong rapids and someway, somehow I was thrown from my tube. I went straight into the rapids and this is when my shoes came off. The first thing I did was grab my sunglasses so I wouldn't loose them. The current pulled me under the rapids and I picked up some major speed. I could not see underwater and had no idea where I was going until I finally surfaced. I only had enough time to get some air when I hit a rock. I tried to stop using my feet but to know avail. After hitting the rock that was impossible to grab onto I was once again trusted into the current and down another set of rapids. This time much worse than the first one. I went way under the water and as I began to panic I reminded myself that panicking causes drowning. All my years of water safety started to kick in and did my best to surface. I finally did and there was nothing to grab but I was able to swim out of the current (due to my kick-ass side stroke) and grabbed onto a big branch. From there I went to the side and climbed out of the river. I was not in good shape as I was out of breath, disoriented, and just basically freaked out. At this point I was done with it all. I am very sore and a little bruised-as hard as I kept hitting rocks I am surprised that I don't look like a victim of domestic violence in one of those Lifetime TV movie specials! I am just super sore and my feet are killing me! But I never lost my sunglasses!

Text Message Junkie...

I officially admit that I am a text message junkie. I am turning over anew leaf. After viewing my wireless bill, then pulling myself off thefloor, I am still is disbelief. The bill doesn't lie. My plan is 200 msgsper month then 10 cents per msg. Last month I doubled that limit. 413text messages. WTF? Now, I know where the bulk of these messages go. I have got to get some rehab! I have decided that I will NOT text for at least a week. If you text me and get no response then you know why or I will simply call you back. I text my friends if I am in mettings or simplyunable to talk-that used to be the way it was. Now I text when it would beeasier to just call. And you know text flirting really whipes out thelimit. I have several options:1. Continue on and file bankruptcy due to extreme text messaging2. Change my plan to include more messages3. Slow my ass downOption 2 seems more logical but I think I will give option 3 a chance.

An iPod Obituary

I was reluctant to join the ranks of iPod owners. I felt I didn't need to spend $250+ to feel cool. I was wrong. It was never about being cool, it was about giving into social pressure:) For a while I was anti-iPod. Then I took a trip to New York to visit some friends. I spent a large portion of the day alone wandering Manhattan and everywhere I looked, everywhere I went, people had their iPods! I met up later with my friends and explained that everyone had one. I just couldn't believe it. Why?? Then Lanitasaid "oh, I love mine!" She pulled out her blue mini and I was hooked. SoI bought one. A green mini. I named her iSally. She is the love of my life. I always laughed when people said that the iPod will change your life.Yeah, it changed mine. All I could do was laugh at myself. She has been the best companion ever. We work together, travel together, exercisetogether. She knows my taste in music, pod casts, and is so receptive to my mood. I have her set at random and she never disappoints as she always surprises me. Nothing lasts forever. iSally has been under the weather for a while. Her ticker just ain't what it used to be. I had to jumpstart her the other day. Completely reset her. She has been fine until today. I have looked into a battery transplant but I just can't bear to part with her for a while, not being able to visit, bring her flowers. I have decided that it is time to sign the papers and take her off lifesupport. She has been plugged in for several days. I only take her off about 45 minutes per day. I take her out to get some air, take her to and from work with me. The inevitable has approached. My decision pains me but when it is time, it's time. My new companion will be newer, shinier, and will be able to show me video. iBob can never replace iSally. May she rest in peace. She will be interred in the top drawer of the antique desk in my bedroom. A private ceremony will be held Sunday evening in my loft.

New Years Eve...

Why I have waited to blog about this is beyond me! I guess I am a boredand needed a good laugh.New Year's Eve 2006, I go with my friend Butters to Norman, Oklahoma of allplaces. Actually, Norman is a cool little town! That and the fact that Ihad the best darn margarita there!! Anyway, Butters' friend Sarah is housesitting Butters' dad's girlfriend's house(yep, you almost need a chart). Iknew we were in for a fun time when I stepped foot into this tackywonderland that is this woman's house. This was a big ranch-style housewith long hallways and lots of rooms. The very first item I saw, it washard to miss, was the GIGANTIC Tiffany blue leather sectional. This sofais probably about the same size as my loft! This is the most ridiculousthing I have ever seen. But I will say the sucker sure was comfy! Shestill had her Christmas stuff up and it looked like the inside on of thosetacky Christmas stores. The decor would have been fine had it beentastefully done. Then, in one of the hallways there is a wall of at least100 framed pictures hanging on it. Most of the pictures were of her, thehome owner-we will call her Yancy). I am sure she is a nice woman. Infact, I have met her once and I must say she has had more plastic surgerythan Cher. I just knew she was sporting a new set of boobies that day. Mysuspicions were confirmed after carefully analyzing her "hall of fame," orthe "I love me!" wall. Anyway, on the other end of the house were thebedrooms. The walls of that hallway were, like the sofa, Tiffany blue withwhite trim. I actually liked that. But the moment was ruined when Igasped at the worn, blood-red carpet. Oy Vey! The bedrooms seemedsomewhat normal-nothing special. So, that evening Butters', her friendSarah, and her friend Chandler and myself all hung out. Butters spilled redwine all over a while doily table cloth that ended up sitting there allnight long. Then Butters attempts to set the tacky sofa on fire by fallingasleep while smoking. During this time I went with Matthew to OklahomaCity to party and had a great time. As we return back to Norman I calledthe girls to see if they wanted Taco Bell. Of course the answer was YES!So we take their orders and return to the tacky house. Chandler, myself,and Sarah devour our Taco Bell. Butters decides to hang on to hers and eatit while in bed watching TV. Chandler went home and we all decided that itwas probably time for bed. I actually fell asleep on the sofa before goingto a bedroom where I had to remove 9000 pillows and a GIANT stuffed horselaying across the bed. What happens next I was not privy to see since Iwas fast asleep. Now, Butters and Sarah were sleeping in Yancy's giantbed. Butters decides that it was time to eat her Taco Bell and watch TV.She has her Bell in one hand and moves the TV(which was elevated in anarmoire) so that she could see it. When she moves the TV, it falls. Sheapparently attempted to stop the TV from falling by placing the Taco Bellstrategically in between her and the TV. Most of the Bell fell on thefloor but the TV looked as if she had started a new painting trend bysmearing a bean burrito across the screen. She screams out and Sarah wakesup to the sight of Butters, burrito, and TV becoming one! After I woke thefollowing morning I walk into their bedroom to wake Butters up. I noticeTaco Bell all over the floor and thought she had gotten sick because theguacamole had turned. When I was told of how the entire ordeal went downfrom Sarah I laughed uncontrollably for a good 24 hours. After all wassaid and done that house looked like we went all rock star on it! Totallytrashed, ruined linen because of the wine that was spilled. I was able toclean that up by using club soda. I am sure Yancy was confused that therewas no longer any club soda in the house since I used all if--about 5 twoliter bottles that stocked the bar! So that was my New Year's! It rocked.

Elevator etiquette...

One quick blog about a huge pet peeve of mine that has been happening quitea bit!! People in elevators! I will admit that I am one of those peoplethat get on the elevator and push the close button as quickly as I can.Even if I see someone coming (or running) to the elevator to catch the sameone that I am on. I will totally slam the doors in their face! I cannotstand when someone boards the lift on a floor and goes up or down only onefloor! WTF? USE THE FUCKING STAIRS! If you are going to go one floor it would be almost as quick, if not faster, to haul your fat ass down thestairs as you probably could use the exercise anyway! I, myself, have a twofloor rule. If I am going up or down two floors then I take the stairs.Easy enough. Also, another issue that just really chaps my hide is when Iam trying to get off the elevator and either one or more people try and geton before I get out! AHHHHHHHHH! WTF? It isn't like the lift is going toleave in the 2.2 seconds it take me to get out. WAIT until people leavebefore you get on. Total common courtesy. And one last thing....turn offthat STUPID bluetooth headset and hang up the damn phone. Everyone knows there is no one on the other line so stop pretending like you are someonespecial-cause ya ain't! Now do you see why I desperately try to close thedoors....my own piece of mind.

Bitch, I am Gonna Take Care of You...

I was thinking back to my last DART incident and I cannot believe that I haven't blogged about it...
About Christmas time I was headed to work. The express bus was very full and it was very cold outside. Being Christmas time people had all their coats, scarves and what seems to be all other worldly possesions on board with them. I get on the bus in front of the Kirby Building. I am not supposed to because the bus is actually a premium express that costs more to ride. When the bus gets to the west end then it turns to the local express. But since I am a DART platinum member then they overlook that fact. Anyway, back to the story. This woman boards the bus right before getting on the Tollway. She apparently spots a woman sitting up front she has an issue with. At this point we are on the Tollway and the woman continues to get louder in her remarks. It seems that this crazy woman was owed money from an Avon order. She continues to state "you owe me 32 dollars...you betta give me my 32 dollars." This goes on and on for several miles. The further we go the louder she got. The woman on the receiving end was heard saying "I will get you your money just please calm down." I was sitting three rows back and on the other side so I was able to see what was going on. Right before we exited Harvest Hill, the pissed off lady stood up and screamed "give me my money." the other lady said to please sit down. At which point the crazy one yelled "Bitch, I'm gonna take care of you." Now, as she was reaching into her large purse, as she was saying this phrase, I was thinking that if she pulls out a gun then I am done with DART. I will be taking the day off and purchasing a new car. People around them started screaming and everyone got down...except me cause I like to know what is going on-which really isn't that smart. But anyway, instead of a gun she pulls out a mason jar of bleach, removes the cap and throws it into this woman's face. Two people were sent to the hospital, the crazy lady went to jail and I was late for work. I kept thinking, what if she had pulled a gun? Thankfully she didn't and the other two individuals are ok. People need to leave their hate and grudges and person business at home. Deal with it on your own time, not on the time of 40 other people.