I bet there is an iPhone app for that!...

This man's cell phone turns his oven on!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/23/nyregion/23about.html?_r=3

The Jumper...

My mother called me this morning freaked out. Rightfully so. She was sitting in her car headed north on Central Expressway when a woman jumped from the Lover’s Lane overpass and into traffic. Actually the 18 wheeler broke her fall and essentially splattered her across the freeway. My mother was about 9-10 cars back from all this. She said that she did not see the woman jump but did see her body on the ground. When she jumped the big rig carried her right up to Mockingbird before it was able to come to a complete stop. Needless to say the woman was dead and north-bound central became shut down. It seems she steered her car into the wrong direction (like she was turning around or something) on Lover’s Lane, came to stop on the overpass, got out of her car and jumped.

Tollway...

Just an FYI for those of you who drive on the Dallas North Tollway...the construction at Wycliff is pretty much done and so they are raising the rates to match the other toll plazas. For tolltag users the rate will be .70 and 1.00 for non users.

Nice obit...

I do not normally read obituaries but sometimes like to scan them just see if there is anyone on it that I know. I cam across this obit that I felt I just needed to share. The link will only be available for a short time so I posted it below:

Merritt, Edward "Bruce" Born April 3, 1951 in North Carolina. He was one of eight children. His older sisters regularly beat him up, put him in dresses, and then forced him to walk to the drugstore to buy their Kotex and cigarettes. After graduation from high school he went on to lead a life of luxury in the United States Air Force. After excaping from the government he spent most of his life as a mechanic, husband, and father. Bruce Merritt never met a stranger, and in many ways was stranger than most. He is survived by one daughter, two grand- children, two ex-wives, unpaid taxes, and many loyal loving friends. Services will be held on Tuesday, September 23rd at 2:00pm. Eastgate LBJ @ Northwest Highway 972-270-6116 www.eastgatefuneralhome.com

A coup d’état…

Yesterday I sensed a great disturbance. I emailed Brittny and she said not to email at her office address anymore. I could tell that something was up. So finally I found out that the powers that be that own the building have fired Capstone Management hence ending the tenure of fabulous management that we have come to rely upon and love….effective immediately. I have already drawn up our notice to vacate. This change will ruin the building and that is really sad. People are really pissed and I know that we will not be the only ones to move out.

Moron...

I came across an article in the DMN and just shook my head. This moron was riding in the back of a pick up “holding” a mattress. The pickup hit a bump and sent the moron and the mattress flying. The moron is in serious condition. Guess he didn’t land on the mattress.

I thought that it was illegal to have someone in a pickup bed going faster than 35 mph. I was half right. It is illegal to have someone under the age of 18 in the pickup bed while traveling faster than 35 mph. The people in the cab must wear their seat belts but those in the back are shit out of luck. I call it natural selection.

Ike part 2...

The hurricane has come and gone. Unfortunately it did not bring the rains Dallas needed. We got some but nothing to write home to mamma about. Even the wind was disappointing. I was hoping for more but was denied! Oh well. What we do have is fabulous cool weather. We will be sleeping with the bedroom doors open and the air conditioning off. We are looking at a low this evening of around 58.

Fools rush in, just like a 17 foot tidal wave...

I was reading some articles today about Ike and the evacuations for the Texas coast. Even in mandatory evacuation orders people refuse to leave. This storm is speeding up and could possibly be an category 4. I would have left by now. Period. What causes someone to refuse to leave a life threatening situation like this? Do they think they can save their own homes? They say God will watch over us…well…God is about a category 3 right now. These fools will wash away with their homes. The images of people stranded on top of their homes waiting for rescue have been burned into my head after Katrina. Pretty powerful stuff. I believe that those who refuse to obey a mandatory evacuation order and end up waiting on top of their homes for rescue (at tax payer expense) should be left there. Those who do not heed the warnings will be left to recover by themselves and not eligible for assistance. There is no reason why my tax dollars should be used to save a fool.

Ike...

Wow, this is rare for Dallas. We are under a Tropical Storm Warning. If the storm shifts a little toward Corpus then Dallas will really get a good chunk of the storm. We are somewhat on the edge but still expecting major winds 40+mph and lots of rain. This storm is huge.

Spicy...

I came across this news article this morning and had to read it twice to make sure I was not crazy. Some whacko in California breaks into a house of two men and steals some cash. Before he left however, he decided that he would rub one man with spices and then hits the other man with an 8-inch sausage. Something seems a bit fishy here. I am just wondering what spices were used.

Click on the title to view the article.

There is always something else…

My mother alerted me yesterday to some news she saw on TV about the health risks of granite counter tops. I went and did some googling and came across an article in the New York Times about this. Apparently granite emits radiation and radon that can give us cancer. This is just something else to get people all in a tizzy and start ripping out their counters and floors to save their lives. Of course those doing that will stop periodically for a brief smoke break but I digress.
I am in my kitchen everyday touching the granite and I shower everyday while surrounded by it. I think the only way your granite counters are going to be harmful is if you eat them and if that is the case then you should be in a straight jacket by now.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/24/garden/24granite.html?_r=1&pagewanted=2&oref=slogin

Calatrava Bridge update…

DELAYED. Shocking. It seems the Italian steel company will be unable to deliver the steel bridge expanses by the deadline. 10 month delay. Shocking. Take a look at the “artists rendering” below. It looks like there is a bridge in the middle of nowhere (which is not that far out of bounds). The picture should have been done with the downtown skyline in the background. Where is PhotoHazard when you need him?

Hallmark...

Hallmark has announced that they are selling gay marriage cards, in addition to the coming out cards they already have had on the market for about year or so. Kudos for them. People have been asking me what I think about it all. I really don’t care. Nor do I care about getting married. Ron and I have already discussed this briefly and both agreed that marriage is just not for us. We like things just the way they are. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

Hello 911? I would like....

I came across a story this morning were a Florida man was not to happy that his Subway sandwich was missing the sauce. He called 911 twice. First to complain about his sandwich and that he wanted the police to make sure it was made correctly. The second call was to complain that the cops were not fast enough in getting to the store. He was arrested, or course.

I like subway and although I do not eat there much I do know how to order a sub there. Everything is in front of you. You watch your sub being made! If they missed the mayo and mustard then he should have said something. But knowing from experience they always ask if I want mayo or mustard or other varieties of sauces.

I included the link to the CNN video. It is amazing what 911 callers ask for.

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2008/08/05/spivey.911.call.sandwich.wtlv

White Hole...

There is a Dallas City Hall blog over at the DMN that I love to read. This particular blog entry has to do with John Wiley Price. Yes, the ignorant jack-ass is still at it. It seems that the county commissioners were discussing issues with the central collections office (think traffic tickets):

Commissioner Kenneth Mayfield, who is white, said it seemed that central collections "has become a black hole" because paperwork reportedly has become lost in the office.
Commissioner John Wiley Price, who is black, interrupted him with a loud "Excuse me!" He then corrected his colleague, saying the office has become a "white hole."
That prompted Judge Thomas Jones, who is black, to demand an apology from Mayfield for his racially insensitive analogy.

I cannot believe that someone has not buried JWP, who is black, somewhere in the Trinity River. The blog did not say whether or not Mr. Mayfield, who is white, apologized and if he did then shame on him.


7/9 UPDATE:
Commissioner Mayfield has no intentions of apologizing!! Good for him!!!!

Mayfield remains unapologetic about his use of the word.
"Anybody who's offended by that statement needs serious psychiatric help,"

It seems that everyone else is on Mayfield's side. Which means that about 95% of Dallas County believes that Joh Whitey Price is a fucking idiot.

The Bridge...

Well I cannot believe it! After what seems like an eternity, the City of Dallas has finally started on the new Margaret Hunt Hill bridge designed by Santiago Calatrava. The Mayor wasn't kidding around when he said it was time to get this Trinity River Corridor started!

This is so going to pass...

The Dallas city council is overwhelmingly in favor of a total smoking ban and I say get that bill passed pronto!! Dallas already has a smoking ban in place for most public spaces but now they want to extend it to bars and clubs. I can't wait! This goes in front of the council in August and will probably be law if it passes by the end of this year.

Texas Polygamist Folks….

With all this talk about the children and mothers.....what I want to know is….where are the men, the father(s)?

Me Talk Pretty...

We all know about the ongoing debate that is illegal immigration but I think she should take a dose of her own meds.  This woman is from Houston, Tx and is obviously wearing a quilt.  She should be deported post haste!!

In The Best Interest Of The Child...

Such a heartwarming tale of two loving parents…

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/15851207/detail.html