New Years Eve...

Why I have waited to blog about this is beyond me! I guess I am a boredand needed a good laugh.New Year's Eve 2006, I go with my friend Butters to Norman, Oklahoma of allplaces. Actually, Norman is a cool little town! That and the fact that Ihad the best darn margarita there!! Anyway, Butters' friend Sarah is housesitting Butters' dad's girlfriend's house(yep, you almost need a chart). Iknew we were in for a fun time when I stepped foot into this tackywonderland that is this woman's house. This was a big ranch-style housewith long hallways and lots of rooms. The very first item I saw, it washard to miss, was the GIGANTIC Tiffany blue leather sectional. This sofais probably about the same size as my loft! This is the most ridiculousthing I have ever seen. But I will say the sucker sure was comfy! Shestill had her Christmas stuff up and it looked like the inside on of thosetacky Christmas stores. The decor would have been fine had it beentastefully done. Then, in one of the hallways there is a wall of at least100 framed pictures hanging on it. Most of the pictures were of her, thehome owner-we will call her Yancy). I am sure she is a nice woman. Infact, I have met her once and I must say she has had more plastic surgerythan Cher. I just knew she was sporting a new set of boobies that day. Mysuspicions were confirmed after carefully analyzing her "hall of fame," orthe "I love me!" wall. Anyway, on the other end of the house were thebedrooms. The walls of that hallway were, like the sofa, Tiffany blue withwhite trim. I actually liked that. But the moment was ruined when Igasped at the worn, blood-red carpet. Oy Vey! The bedrooms seemedsomewhat normal-nothing special. So, that evening Butters', her friendSarah, and her friend Chandler and myself all hung out. Butters spilled redwine all over a while doily table cloth that ended up sitting there allnight long. Then Butters attempts to set the tacky sofa on fire by fallingasleep while smoking. During this time I went with Matthew to OklahomaCity to party and had a great time. As we return back to Norman I calledthe girls to see if they wanted Taco Bell. Of course the answer was YES!So we take their orders and return to the tacky house. Chandler, myself,and Sarah devour our Taco Bell. Butters decides to hang on to hers and eatit while in bed watching TV. Chandler went home and we all decided that itwas probably time for bed. I actually fell asleep on the sofa before goingto a bedroom where I had to remove 9000 pillows and a GIANT stuffed horselaying across the bed. What happens next I was not privy to see since Iwas fast asleep. Now, Butters and Sarah were sleeping in Yancy's giantbed. Butters decides that it was time to eat her Taco Bell and watch TV.She has her Bell in one hand and moves the TV(which was elevated in anarmoire) so that she could see it. When she moves the TV, it falls. Sheapparently attempted to stop the TV from falling by placing the Taco Bellstrategically in between her and the TV. Most of the Bell fell on thefloor but the TV looked as if she had started a new painting trend bysmearing a bean burrito across the screen. She screams out and Sarah wakesup to the sight of Butters, burrito, and TV becoming one! After I woke thefollowing morning I walk into their bedroom to wake Butters up. I noticeTaco Bell all over the floor and thought she had gotten sick because theguacamole had turned. When I was told of how the entire ordeal went downfrom Sarah I laughed uncontrollably for a good 24 hours. After all wassaid and done that house looked like we went all rock star on it! Totallytrashed, ruined linen because of the wine that was spilled. I was able toclean that up by using club soda. I am sure Yancy was confused that therewas no longer any club soda in the house since I used all if--about 5 twoliter bottles that stocked the bar! So that was my New Year's! It rocked.