A magnificent obsession…

I have never written about this issue before. I felt that it was time to address it. I have a problem, an addiction if you will, to pointy things. Basically a pointy thing is a paper napkin or other paper-like product fashioned into a sharp point by tightly folding the paper until the end is sharp and pointy. Pointy things are also made well from crisp sheets or a stiff cotton shirt. I know this all sounds weird and that's because it is. I emptied out the murse (man purse) this morning and discovered 22 pointy things bunched up in several pockets. Every time I go to a fast food establishment I am given more napkins than needed. I don’t throw these away-no, no. I embrace them as my own. I stash them away in the murse, a drawer, the glove compartment, etc for future use as a pointy thing. Some establishments have better quality paper products than others. Jack-in-the-Box has great, long-lasting napkins. Starbucks has really nice ones as well but the paper will tend to disintegrate after about an hours use, causing a little mess. This is typical of recycled paper but I don’t mind at all. The thicker the paper the better in most cases. The napkins at work are wonderful for making pointy things. They have about an eight hour life span then they are useless. What do I do with these pointy things you ask? Well I will tell you. I poke myself with them. I don’t know why I do this. I really do not believe that this is a nervous habit. It is just something I do and have done since I was a little boy. My mother was the one to coin the term “pointy thing.” She has washed many a pant that has come out of the dryer with a shredded PT. A washed PT can cause a little mess in the laundry especially when the paper is big like a paper towel. Speaking of…paper towels are not the best PT’s. They are thin and flimsy but make a decent substitute. Might I suggest the select-a-size versions of the paper towel? The best PT’s in my opinion are cocktail napkins. These are course in texture and make a very sharp, long-lasting PT. I love the cocktail napkins on American Airlines. I usually like to snag a few before leaving the plane so that I may savor their pointiness for later. So this is, has been, and probably will be an obsession until the day I die. I can’t help it.

Sporn…

Spam+Porn=Sporn.

Every time I sign into yahoo messenger I get several offline messages for porn sites. It is kind of funny in a way. Yesterday I received one that said “Hi, my name is Ginger and I like to ride hard cock! Cum visit my site!” This morning the message said “Pee on me.” Classy stuff people, classy stuff.

Escalator etiquette…

Queue to the right people! Living in London I came accustomed very quickly to using the escalators in the Tube. London has some of the longest escalators in the world. People who ride know to stand to the right. This clears the left side for people who want to walk it. There is always some fool (tourist) who will stand on the left, blocking the path. So back in the USA, I get super annoyed when people do not move or “queue to the right.” This just ticks me off to no end. I like to walk the escalators and the crotch holding homeboy with saggy pants just standing there blocking everyone just makes me wanna throw him over the railing. Just please move over.

Fall has arrived...

I just love the first cold snap of the season! This means the time has arrived for stews and soups, cashmere sweaters, hot toddies and dark beer, thick house socks, scarves, cuddling up, and bundling up. I have started replacing my summer attire with my fall/winter stuff. I am so excited. My cooler weather clothing is more luxurious and more comfortable than my summer stuff. This is my favorite time of year. Right around the end of October is when I feel great, I sleep great, my attitude is great. I think ‘peachy’ sums it all up. I had the windows open last night while sleeping and was in heaven. The temperature fell to about 48 I think and I slept like a baby under the warm covers.

Time...

We go through life meeting people everyday. Sometimes those people we meet have some sort of impact on our lives. That impact, being either positive or negative, is entirely inconsequential. You see someone on the street, a plane, a train, etc and think “that person looks familiar to me” or “I know that person from somewhere. This has happened to me many times. A few months ago I ran into a guy I went to high school with. I hadn’t seen him in eight years. He remembered me and we caught ourselves up on each other’s lives then parted ways. Yesterday, as I made my way home, there were two gentlemen sitting behind me and I could not help but overhear their conversation. They knew each other from somewhere but were stumped to know how their paths had crossed in the past. Did they work together? No. Did they go to school together? No. This went on for about 15 minutes. Then it dawned on one of them how he knew the other. He asked “I think we did time together!” The other man laughed and said “That’s right! We did do time together!” I sat there and smiled and thought about how we meet certain people in the most unlikely of places.

The Sandman...

As a youngling I would try and stay up as late as I could and for no good reason except to just stay up. My mother would tell me that if I didn’t go to bed that the Sandman would come and sprinkle sand in my eyes. This absolutely terrified me. I would bolt up and run to my bed. My heart pounding in my ears. My body trembling from the sheer terror of the thought of a stranger sprinkling sand in my eyes. I specifically remember a moment that will stick with me forever. I was pushing the envelope of the witching hour really hard. My mother would insist that I go to bed. I always protested. Finally, she said that the Sandman would soon come. Again, I protested. This would continue for a while. Then I heard a knock at the front door. I don’t think my feet hit the floor once as I flew into my bedroom. Later in life my mother would explain to me that she had never known any child as terrified of the sandman as I was. She told me that the sandman was a gentle person and that he only brought happy dreams and a good night sleep. I thought she was full of crap! She used my fear to her advantage and it worked!

According to folklore and my mother:
The Sandman is a character in popular Western folklore who brings good sleep and dreams by sprinkling magic sand onto the eyes of children. Traditionally he is a character in many children's stories, invoked to help (or lull) children to sleep. He is said to sprinkle sand or dust on or into the eyes of the child at night to bring on dreams and sleep. The grit or 'sleep' (rheum) in one's eyes upon waking is supposed to be the result of the Sandman's work the previous evening.

And the following is what I believed:
E.T.A. Hoffmann wrote an inverse depiction of the lovable character in a story called Der Sandmann, which showed how sinister such a character could be made. According to the protagonist's nurse, he threw sand in the eyes of children who wouldn't sleep, with the result of those eyes falling out and being collected by the Sandman, who then takes the eyes to his iron nest on the moon, and uses them to feed his children. The protagonist of the story grows to associate this nightmarish creature with the genuinely sinister figure of his father's associate Coppelius.

I have grown out of my fear of the Sandman. My brother makes fun of me from time to time about this but then I inform him that at least I was not terrified of E.T.!

Moses was violated....

Last night I was walking Moses near the poo poo park on Browder St. Well, this other, really cute dog, comes up and they immediately start sniffing each other. Well, the other dog, who was much bigger, took moses from behind! Seriously! The dog grabbed Moses with his front legs and held tight and then began humping my dog! Moses looked at me like "help me please!" I was laughing my butt off!! Poor thing! The dog's owner was very apologetic and laughed only after I did. She told me that he was just neutered. Guess he was having phantom pains or something. HA!

Annie Lennox--The Concert...

Last night Ron and I attended the Annie Lennox concert and it was spectacular. The house was packed and Annie was brilliant. The woman gets better looking and better sounding with every passing moment. The stage was simple and elegant, no fancy and over-the-top special effects. She doesn’t need them as her voice, her style, and her mere presence is all the effects one needs. She packed 17 songs into 75 minutes-both new and old-and the crowd went wild for each and every one! Here is the song lineup:

1. No More I Love You’s
2. Little Bird
3. Walking on Broken Glass
4. Pavement Cracks
5. Dark Road
6. Smithereens
7. Here Comes the Rain Again
8. A Thousand Beautiful Things
9. Sisters are Doing It for Themselves
10. Cold
11. Would I Lie To You?
12. Ghosts In My Machine
13. When Tomorrow Comes
14. Thorn In My Side
15. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
16. Sing
17. Why

The DMN review can be found here:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/ent/stories/DN-lennox_1015gl.ART.State.Edition1.3861418.html

My review: SIMPLY FABULOUS!

It was the second highlight of my year!

Annie Lennox...

This glorious Sunday will be heavenly indeed as Ron and I will be enjoying the musical genius of the incomparable Annie Lennox in concert! I will post details after the concert!

National Coming Out Day….

Apparently this day was yesterday Oct 11. Wow! There is seriously a day for everything. I think this day is stupid, this National Coming Out Day bull shit. Coming out of the closet can be difficult enough. Coming out should be done on your own time, not Oct 11 specifically. I suppose that some people need a reason…you know when you are ready to come out and Oct 11 is not special date. If you feel comfortable with this then that is fine but don’t use this date a point of no return. Come out when you are ready and only when you are ready! It just ticks me off to see a booth positioned in gayborhoods where you can ‘register’ your coming out. WTF??? Why do you need to register for this? This isn’t like signing up for the draft or a damn MasterCard! Ugh. Oh, by the way…it is the day after National Coming Out and I am GAY! I am a Homo! A Trouser Trooper! A Fudge Packer! A Butt Pirate—argggg! Thanks! I feel much better now! HA!

The new dog part 4…the Yorkshire Terrorist….

Well, Mr. Moses has certainly come into his own. A few weeks ago I took Moses to get neutered. Since the whacking of his testicles he has become more aggressive and playful. Kinda odd but you never know what will become of a dog once they loose their balls. He is still the best little dog ever and I have had no regrets about taking him into my home. The barking issue has still been an issue until this week. My vet is also an animal behaviorist. I made an appointment and we went to see her last Saturday. We talked and I explained the situation. She told me that he just doesn’t like being alone—which I knew. But what I wanted to know was how to fix this problem of the ass-rape sounding barking. So $100 bucks later I walk out of there feeling a little hopeful and with D.A.P. in hand. This device resembles a Glade Plug-In™ (I love using the ™ symbol) air freshener. D.A.P. stands for “Dog Appeasing Pheromone.” Here is the product description:

Developed for pet owners by veterinarians, D.A.P.™ (Dog Appeasing Pheromone) mimics the properties of the natural pheromones of the lactating female. Within three to five days after giving birth, the female generates pheromones that give their puppies a sense of well-being and reassurance, known as appeasing pheromones. Pheromones are picked up and detected by an animal's sense of smell producing specific responses. By replicating this signal of comfort, D.A.P.™ helps alleviate fear and stress related signs in the puppy and adult dog.

I was skeptical about this but decided that, at this point, I would try anything! I plugged this in near his kennel when I got home from the vet. Then on Monday I placed him in his kennel before leaving for the office. He didn’t bark at all!! I stood outside my loft just waiting....nothing. It has been this way all week! He has not barked at all-not even a whine! This isn’t a drug or a sedative and only dogs can sense this. It apparently does not work for every dog but it certainly works for mine. No more shock collar, no more wanting to beat him senseless, no more disturbing the neighbors. He is growling more at other dogs and basically has become more aggressive but it is still super cute. When he plays he looks like he is going to bite you as he lunges toward your face. He is actually smiling big! But it looks ferocious and evil. Infact, he will barely just nibble on you and lick you clean!

DART Lazies...

There was an article this morning in the paper about people complaining that the trains are to cramped and they have no place to sit. Poor poor babies! People are so damn lazy! Mass transit is an option, not a requirement for people in this region. If you want to sit on your ride to work either get to the station earlier, later, or drive. This ticks me off! As more and more people opt to utilize our growing transit system things are getting more crowded. I don’t complain. Places like New York and London are crowded all the time. It is just the way things are. However, these yokels around here want the same comfort on a train as their own vehicle provides. First of all, I have no sympathy for the folks who attempt to escape the sinister ways of an ever expanding downtown. They buy cookie-cutter houses that are within 1 foot of each other and send their children to “good schools.” They are just fooling themselves, sinister ways are everywhere and they cannot escape reality-no matter how hard you try. Anyway, that is for another blog I suppose. What kills me is that these people move out to places within 20 minutes of the Oklahoma border and complain that their commute on DART takes to long into Downtown. At this point the farthest station is Parker Road-way the heck up there. That commute from Parker to Pearl Station takes about 30 or so minutes. If they drove that distance during rush hour then you are looking at over an hour. So they are unhappy that they have to stand sometimes. Get some exercise people! If you are working downtown then chances are that you sit at a desk for 8 hours. I am so sick of people being so lazy and complain that the trains do not have enough seating for everyone. Each train car seats about 75 people and can accommodate another 60-70 standing. During rush hour there are at least 3 cars attached. This amounts to a trip capacity of over 400+ and with the rush hour trains running every 10 minutes…..you do the math. People are just so damn lazy I just wanna scream! Another complaint was that the seats are too small. Well, I am sorry; this ain’t first class on British Airways! This is mass transit!! If the seats are to small then the likelihood of your ass being too big is about 99.9%. There are several strategies for claiming a seat on a rush hour train. God forbid that lazy people should have to think, much less strategize. Sheesh!

I Was Violated...

This morning, as I made my way to the office, I was violated! The obviously gay homosexual sitting next to me (who is also trying to cling to his youth by bleaching his hair) touched my butt. I am not kidding! As I was getting up to exit at my stop he touched my arse. This could have been on accident but somehow I doubt it. My butt was looking good in the jeans I had on so why would anyone not wanna touch my butt? HA! Anyway, I turned to look at him expecting a quick apology but none was given. I through him a dirty and disgusted look, the look that is reminiscent of a Miranda Priestly, and exited my mass transit vessel. Dirty old queen! There is only on man who is allowed to touch me like that on purpose and that is Ron. How ballsy can one guy be? To touch another man’s toosh and look at me like he meant to do it takes major guts. I can understand doing this on accident when the trains/buses are full during rush hour or something. I mean, in New York City you can board the Lexington Avenue Express during rush hour and achieve orgasm before you get to your stop from the crowd of people pressed up against you. But when it isn’t crowded there should be no reason to fondle anyone.

Hey everyone!

This site is replacing MySpace. I have transfered all the blogs I have done on MS and posted them on here for your reading pleasure. There will be more to come!!